Key Connection

Key Connection.

I've been giving it some thought -- why is it that those who end up being my food servers provide me with such exceptional service?  Why do they go the extra mile to facilitate me?  I'd love to believe that all humans are inherently good... But I've lived too long and seen far too much to fall for that one.

Why do they seem to genuinely take an interest in my surviving the meal?

Here again, the cynicist in me wants to blurt out that they are litigiously aware.  Most likely true in a good percentage of the cases, but not all.  So what gives?

Methinks it could be the same thing that makes one either a player in the politics of life, or an outsider.  It's what distinguishes an employee with a career, versus that with a job.  It's what makes a legendary baseball player like Willie Mays or Joe DiMaggio an icon.  Didn't you root for The Say Hey Kid to become the Home Run King?  Didn't you care about Joe when Marilyn died -- didn't your heart go out to him?

Relationships.  At the most basic, primative level, it's all about connection.

Connecting makes the difference between someone vesting an interest in you, or merely observing you.  It distinguishes you from the general masses.  Even though most of us never shook Willie's hand, he took a place in our hearts.  On some level, we all identified with him and connected -- he engaged us and we wanted him to set new records, and elevate the game of baseball to new heights.  We wished Joe and Marilyn the "happily-ever-after" -- the "Bronx boy who made good" and Hollywood's sexiest, star-crossed kitten... And we were subsequently heartbroken, not just for the world's loss, but for Joe's loss as a husband.

Each engaged us with their charm, flare, character and personality -- their humanity -- and reeled us in.  They distinguished themselves above the crowd, and made themselves more than just a number on a jersey, or today's flavor of starlet.  On some level, we identified with them and allowed them to touch our hearts.  From that point on, we vested our interests in them, and cared about their joys, sorrows, successes and failures.

They connected.  Very much like fishermen, who throw a line out into the waters, dangle their most alluring lure, and take us in as we bite.

Isn't that what you do when you engage your manager or supervisor at work?  And, if not, why not?  Cast out your lure and then reel him/her in.  This is what makes the difference between a manager who will get you the cost-of-living 2.3% raise, versus the one who will push for you to get an unheard of 7%, because you're a "good guy/gal" and "valued worker".

The reality is, you can be a mediocre performer, but if you have a nurtured connection with your manager, you are more likely to get the better treatment than the person who has no connection with the manager.

Connection = Interest.  Caring, to some degree.

So now, use your fabulous humanistic charm to connect with your food service provider within the first five minutes of interaction -- if you can do this, you will tip the odds in your favor in terms of safety.  Each time we venture out into a public place, we take a gamble... a gamble as to whether or not we will come into contact with our nemeses in one way or another... Whether it be by direct or indirect ingestion (e.g. eating a food you are allergic to, or a non-allergen that was prepared on surfaces comtaminated with allergens), direct or indirect contact (e.g. having an allergen come into contact with your skin, or having a person touch your skin with a body part that had touched an allergen)... or even via indirect contact (again, on another person's body) with a cosmetic that contains an allergen.  There are a host of subtle and not-so-subtle triggers for a reaction.

Make those key connections.  Educate those around you.  Make people aware that you have life-and-death sensitivities, and help them to identify with you in a meaningful, human way... Speak to them with your heart so that they can empathize, sympathize and willingly conscript in your army of protectors.

And always be vigilantly observant.  Sometimes others get distracted.  It's your life, not theirs.