Deluxe Lemons

Deluxe Lemons.

Not mere "lemons".  But deluxe lemons.

Life threw us some lemons, right?  Know what I'm going to do with mine?  I'm going to do a perfect downward facing dog in ode to it... And then I'll bite right into it, removing enough of the rind to get to the yellow heart... As I taste its treasure, it wakes up my mouth, and jump starts bile production... I rub some of the juice on my face to spur collagen and elastin function, and smooth away some of my worry lines.  Next, the younger, healthier me pops over to my garden to mulch the rinds and plant the seeds in soil... For my wealth will now be in lemons.

With some of the lemons I've grown, I whip up a batch of deluxe lemonade, with a frothy top and a dash of cinnamon and nutmeg... Sweetened with agave. 

Oh yes... Destiny's bounty is in lemons, and, by golly, I'll be to lemons what Steve Jobs is to Apple! 

One can choose to be life's victim, or the victor -- grabbing it by the horns and rising above its cloven hooves. It's a constant battle -- maintaining balance is an art -- but it's one that each person finesses with the skill and poise gained from his/her personal evolution.

The victor evolves.  The victim withers in self-pity after defeat, due to his/her choice to accept a setback as "defeat".  One battle does not a war make.   Evolution is a patient, step-by-step process... Three steps forward, then one back... two steps forward, and a bit of a stall... then one step back, followed by three leaps forward... never giving up, never experiencing a setback as defeat... always recognizing a setback as 

                     an opportunity to devise a better plan... 

                                  to catalyze a positive change to live a better life.

So yes -- let's DO lemonade... And lemon chiffon pie... Lemon butter glaze... Lemon rind icing...
Lemon-cilantro sorbet... Rum, honey and lemon...
Lemon rind body scrub.... 


Our possibilities are endless.

Heaven Has A New Visionary

Steve. I wore mournful black today. 

We all feel the void of his absence in the universal consciousness. Most of us have a hard time dealing with the concept of living in a world without our parents... And, until yesterday, we didn't realize that we feel the same way about Steve Jobs. He has changed the lives of every inhabitant of this planet -- over a billion of us directly, and the balance indirectly. 

He has pushed the envelope more than anyone of our time -- pushed it, reengineered it and perfected it in a way that seemed near magical. He drove innovation with a mercurial vision and empathic sensitivity that only visits earth once every few centuries. Like DaVinci. 

He never sought it, but wielded immense personal power... Amazing genius... Reaching into our minds and hearts, melding with the essences, and devising the most intuitive products ever created. He expanded our minds, evolved our thought, gave imaginations to those bereft, and touched our hearts in a way that makes each and every one of us a better human being. 

Some would say his devices were divisive, in that people spoke a little less, spending more time interfacing with an iMac, iPhone, IPad, etc. But those of us with a fraction of enlightenment realize that he united the world... Now, each person with an Apple product has brothers and sisters throughout various nations of the world. And we are doing wondrous things with them, from rendering medical service, to assisting the deaf, to nation-building. 

Humbly, he taught people how to fish... And, in so doing, spawned the next generation of innovators, if not visionaries. 

Vision is a gift; innovation an art; art can be taught. 

Will we ever have devices that give us that wondrous feeling of awe and excitement, as felt only in childhood? Ever again? Is it remotely possible that we could be blessed by another such visionary in our lifetimes? We've already had one... It seems it would be greedy to expect another so soon.

Tears have been shed today. What will we do without you, Steve? Why didn't we clone you? 

There is a distinct void in the universal consciousness. And it's echoing.


Sent from my iPad

Questioning Immune Chaos

"The first Law of Chaos: There is no law. And Anarchy's its cousin."

Thus said my immune system, one fine day... after 30-something years of blissful obedience.

And so I wonder... What would make the immune system go mutinous? And why? Is there an external trigger, like stress, or burning Twin Towers? Or is it more of a post-embryonic, tasteless joke -- like a congenital cyst that pops up in the middle of one's forehead one day while reading in the library? Could it be recessive genetics? Perhaps I am the dumping ground for all of the bum genes in the clan. Or could it merely be the way this particular body has chosen to enter mid-life? 

Genetics can tell us of someone's predisposition to develop conditions, but it does not necessarily dictate destiny. Pollen allergies are the precurors to food allergies... but not everyone with a pollen allergy develops food allergies. So what are the determining factors? Do the effects of nature make their way into our genetic encoding? Post-mortem, do our genes look exactly as they did at birth? And in what way does aging play a role? 

Fifty years ago, kids brought peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to school and shared them without a care. Two hundred years ago, kids ate raw peanuts. Today, peanut butter is not admissable in schools... And more and more people are living the reality defined by celiac's disease. Which begs the question... How are the younger generations different to their ancestors? Is it the environment? Modern agriculture -- the way we grow or raise our food? Or could it be the manufactured food industry? When last have you eaten a packaged food product that had less than six ingredients, none of which had more than three syllables? Or could it be something our parents used -- medications, creams, ointments, water -- something that seeped into their systems and into their gametes? 

Health providers understand the scientific mechanics of the body's immune system, but they don't understand the spirit of it -- the why it does what it does, the way it does it, bloody well when it decides to do it. Perhaps in 300 years, the barriers between scientific disciplines will have been eradicated. Maybe then they will be able to explain the nano-science of the neurotransmitters that relay the instructions to go haywire. Quantum Physics' mischievous conspiracy with Physiology... But will they ever be able to explain how the instructions were conceived and constructed? 

Scratch Tests

Scratch tests.

Not Scratch-N-Sniffs... Which are a LOT more fun... But Scratch tests. 

Scratching prohibited.  Kind of oxymoronic.

The test consists of small pricks to the surface of the skin, with an immediate application of allergens in a solution.  Then comes the tribulation for anyone whose mind can't be idle for five consecutive seconds... the sitting and waiting for a minimum of 20 minutes to see if you react. And, if so, how much.  Often administered on the inside of the forearms, it precludes the attendance to the most primitive of bodily needs... like nose scratching, rubbing a tired eye, or seriously adjusting oneself in one's seat (my advice -- make sure you are most comfortably situated prior to the first set of scratches).

I just had another set done... This time, I was being tested for the allergens for which I had been receiving desensitization shots for the past nine months, in addition to a host of new allergens, some of which I had specifically requested. Like mosquito. (Digression Alert) Did you know there are approximately 3,000 known species of mosquito? 150 of which inhabit North America, 63 of which can be found within the borders of New Jersey. Have wings, will travel.

As if aster wasn't enough.

Time travel... Rewind the clocks...

Last September, I brought an ivy plant in from my terrace garden. Unbeknownst to me, a mosquito had temporarily made this plant its perch. A long, black, very hungry mosquito with more legs than any insect should have, and an equally sobering proboscis. I had thought I'd spied it momentarily after bringing the plant in, but it had vanished as quickly as it had appeared... so I'd thought nothing of it.

Twenty minutes later, I saw her again on my bathroom floor... The floor is white, she is black -- perfect background for what was about to happen next. I wasn't sure what kind of bug it was because it was so large -- but something about it reminded me of a mosquito. It was so fat from its last feast, that it was having a hard time getting airborne. I saved it the trouble.

SPLAT. There, on the bathroom floor, was the equivalent of a vitamin A caplet's worth of blood, mixed amongst mosquito en- and extrails. "What a beautiful, bright red," I thought. Second thought, "It was a mosquito." Third thought, "I hope that's not HIV-positive." Of course, Clorox Anywhere is never far from reach. As I cleaned the scene of the crime, I wondered if I had gotten to her before she had gotten to me.

About an hour later, I realized that I had been the last supper. It itched as mosquito bites do... And I scratched as the human animal does... That evening when I got home and took a look at my calf, I looked in wonder at how large it was. Not surprising, since she had been such a big specimen of a mosquito. It was a bit red... I decided to try to limit my scratching to more of a rubbing action...

Note to all: profuse rubbing can also remove the head of a mosquito bite.

By the next evening, it had grown to twice the size of the night before. The next day, it had doubled again. By the fourth day, it was the size of my palm -- an angry, crimson, swollen, circular patch of 4" diameter... and growing. Awe-inspiring. And a bit freaky. Time to call in the big guns... Allegra.

It took me four days to realize I had developed an allergy to mosquito -- which was one of the main drivers that landed me at this itchy end of a scratch test. I made sure that mosquito was amongst the 21 test allergens... I knew exactly which scratch it was... expected it to blow up to the size of a Ring Ding... But, at the end of the test period, it barely registered a reaction. That's when I learned that I was allergic to at least one of the 3,000 species out there... Just not the particular one for which I'd been tested.

FYI: For many species, the female mosquito feeds to produce eggs... in her month-long life span, she will lay 2,000 to 3,000 eggs... Human/animal blood is a key element in their cycle of life. 

Key Connection

Key Connection.

I've been giving it some thought -- why is it that those who end up being my food servers provide me with such exceptional service?  Why do they go the extra mile to facilitate me?  I'd love to believe that all humans are inherently good... But I've lived too long and seen far too much to fall for that one.

Why do they seem to genuinely take an interest in my surviving the meal?

Here again, the cynicist in me wants to blurt out that they are litigiously aware.  Most likely true in a good percentage of the cases, but not all.  So what gives?

Methinks it could be the same thing that makes one either a player in the politics of life, or an outsider.  It's what distinguishes an employee with a career, versus that with a job.  It's what makes a legendary baseball player like Willie Mays or Joe DiMaggio an icon.  Didn't you root for The Say Hey Kid to become the Home Run King?  Didn't you care about Joe when Marilyn died -- didn't your heart go out to him?

Relationships.  At the most basic, primative level, it's all about connection.

Connecting makes the difference between someone vesting an interest in you, or merely observing you.  It distinguishes you from the general masses.  Even though most of us never shook Willie's hand, he took a place in our hearts.  On some level, we all identified with him and connected -- he engaged us and we wanted him to set new records, and elevate the game of baseball to new heights.  We wished Joe and Marilyn the "happily-ever-after" -- the "Bronx boy who made good" and Hollywood's sexiest, star-crossed kitten... And we were subsequently heartbroken, not just for the world's loss, but for Joe's loss as a husband.

Each engaged us with their charm, flare, character and personality -- their humanity -- and reeled us in.  They distinguished themselves above the crowd, and made themselves more than just a number on a jersey, or today's flavor of starlet.  On some level, we identified with them and allowed them to touch our hearts.  From that point on, we vested our interests in them, and cared about their joys, sorrows, successes and failures.

They connected.  Very much like fishermen, who throw a line out into the waters, dangle their most alluring lure, and take us in as we bite.

Isn't that what you do when you engage your manager or supervisor at work?  And, if not, why not?  Cast out your lure and then reel him/her in.  This is what makes the difference between a manager who will get you the cost-of-living 2.3% raise, versus the one who will push for you to get an unheard of 7%, because you're a "good guy/gal" and "valued worker".

The reality is, you can be a mediocre performer, but if you have a nurtured connection with your manager, you are more likely to get the better treatment than the person who has no connection with the manager.

Connection = Interest.  Caring, to some degree.

So now, use your fabulous humanistic charm to connect with your food service provider within the first five minutes of interaction -- if you can do this, you will tip the odds in your favor in terms of safety.  Each time we venture out into a public place, we take a gamble... a gamble as to whether or not we will come into contact with our nemeses in one way or another... Whether it be by direct or indirect ingestion (e.g. eating a food you are allergic to, or a non-allergen that was prepared on surfaces comtaminated with allergens), direct or indirect contact (e.g. having an allergen come into contact with your skin, or having a person touch your skin with a body part that had touched an allergen)... or even via indirect contact (again, on another person's body) with a cosmetic that contains an allergen.  There are a host of subtle and not-so-subtle triggers for a reaction.

Make those key connections.  Educate those around you.  Make people aware that you have life-and-death sensitivities, and help them to identify with you in a meaningful, human way... Speak to them with your heart so that they can empathize, sympathize and willingly conscript in your army of protectors.

And always be vigilantly observant.  Sometimes others get distracted.  It's your life, not theirs.

Secrets

Secrets.

When you're winding your way through life -- for example, traveling home from a day of work -- do you ever look at the passers-by and wonder... What's that person's secret?  Who is that person?  What's going on inside his/her head?  Is s/he simple or complex?   Does s/he live her/his life on her/his sleeve, or is there a secret component?   Is it a secret only because I spy him/her in passing?  Or does s/he have a full-fledged, bowl-you-over SECRET?

I do.  Wonder.  Constantly.

No, smarty, I don't have too much free time on my hands.

But sometimes, when I  pause long enough to watch the action go by, I wonder.  Do others wonder about me?  Everyone has secrets... There is no such thing as a book that is 100% open -- there is only the illusion.  Most of us don't even know a fraction of the secrets our subconsciouses keep from our conscious selves.  

Would they, or could they guess one of the secrets that only gets airtime when a gift is given, or a dining experience is suggested?  Let's take this one step further... Could my conscious self have ever guessed that my body would flip me into immune system overdrive 37 years into the game?

R U Single?

R U Single?

If you're Single, you might be subject to The Dating Game.  If you're single, perhaps not.  In any case, time to rewrite the rules.

Feel free to let the Diva/Divo within have a little fun... After all, if you're looking for relationship growth and depth, a perspective partner should be accepting of you and all aspects of your lifestyle.  The person should be as concerned about your health as though it was his/her own.  There really is very little room for vascillation -- the person must work with you to ensure that your life experiences are safe, or the person does not have what it takes to go the long haul.

At first, understanding what it means for a person to live an anaphylactic lifestyle can seem daunting to your new partner... But after the initial shock, the next stage should be characterized by learning and understanding.  Fascination (as in, "Oooh, looky!  A new toy!") should not be confused with a sincere zest for learning.  The former is a sign that the person truly cares for your well-being, and the latter is the sign of someone who's dating style is more a manifestation of ADHD.  

The learner will ask questions (sometimes lots), so as to understand your allergy, how it makes you feel, the warning signs, etc.  Try to be patient -- this is what s/he needs to do to come to an intelligent comfort with your reality. This person will probably ask if you have medication, and, in the event that you have a reaction, what the course is and specifically how to administer it to you.  This person will not think twice about abandoning one restaurant for another, or reordering his/her kitchen, if it means your safety.  Your safe, healthy company is far more important than all else.

The ADHD variety might ask probing questions out of curiosity... You're an interesting phenomenon... To be studied... Until the point when it's no longer a fun mystery.  This type might also never ask questions... Might show a curious lack of interest in the fact that random carelessness could mean the difference between life and death for you...  No matter what words burst forth from this person's lips, believe her/his actions and not the sizzle... A lack of sincere interest in your lifestyle speaks of her/his lack of sincere interest in you... And foretells that s/he will amount to nothing more than a passing ship in your night.

Such is life.  Destiny has given us one leg up on sorting out the mice from the humanoids....

Assorted Idiots -- Part III

 

Part III of the Idiot 'ilogies.

So, you've survived the long road trip without meal-like sustenance... Merely nibbling on the vegetarian snacks you've packed in the event of emergency.  Okay... "nibbling" was genteel... You've scarfed down nuts as though your life depended on it... Your body is now craving piping hot flesh, and at least one leafy, greeny vegetable.  Your mood won't be warm and rosy until you get it.

The glass can not be full unless a hot meal comes with it.

Oh yeah... we're talking one step away from going primitive.

You check into a charming, little hotel... Quite nicely appointed and off the beaten track -- perfect for your weekend getaway.  However, your allergen-meter goes on alert when you spy horses gently grazing on the property.  Horse dander and you have never been on friendly terms -- in fact, the last time you went for a horseback ride, you dismounted covered in hives from the belly-button down.  Not a deal-breaker, but definitely a reason not to go for long walks on this particular property.  Once the body goes into allergen-response mode, it seems as though it reacts more sensitively to the allergens it comes into contact with subsequently.

You check in and then go up to your double room.  It's a rustic hotel, and it looks as though it doesn't have A/C.  You immediately claim the bed near the window... purely because "She who is near the window controls its opening and closing," in theory.  If you can keep it closed, you'll hopefully minimize your allergen response...  Your BFF is happy to claim the other bed, and you both plop down for a second -- after the long ride, it feels good to stretch out on a mattress.  

BFF starts reading aloud from one of the brochures she picked up at the desk -- there's an attraction nearby -- you could conceivably check it out before dinner.  "After dinner," you correct her.  You are stAAAAAAARVing and nothing will keep you away from a succulent half of a cornish hen, roasted 'til crispy- brown with an herbal rub and surrounded by new potatoes, broiled in a buttery, rosemary glaze... Or a horseradish and sesame-crusted tuna steak, lightly grilled so that the center is still raw... With julienned ginger, zucchini and summer squash...  Or maybe even chicken korma, with chunks of dried fruits and whole cashews, with an extra green chilly for good measure -- and, of course, how can it be ingested without a delicious tadhka daal, basmati and -- oh, let's go all out -- a kerala paratha!  And wash it all down with a glass of red Sula, and a generous helping of 3 gulab jamuns....  Ohhh... Your heart races just thinking about an imminent feast.

"Why?"  BFF asks.  After all, she just ate a couple of hours ago.  

After a bit of clever coaxing, you're on your way to a restaurant that was highly recommended by the reception clerk.  When you get there, you find it's slightly more than a pub -- which is fine -- you just need one good, "stick to the ribs" kind of meal, and pub fare will do the job just as well as haute cuisine.

You alert the hostess that you have deadly food allergies, and ask if they can accommodate you.  "Sure!" she says, without much hesitation.  

Okay, perhaps that's a good sign....

You're seated at a table that offers a lovely view of the gardens -- you're both quite pleased with the rustic charm of the place. You open the menu and discuss the selections, as you begin to narrow your choices.  A bit of girl-talk and giggling ease into the mix... your stomach's growling, but you're still able to enjoy the perks of being a girl.  During the conversation, you take out a flash card and place it on the table - readying for the most important conversation you will have all day.  It's as though you're operating on two levels of consciousness -- on the one, you MUST eat -- and, on the other, it's nice having a couple of days away with your BFF.  Not long afterwards, the waiter comes to take your drink order and announce today's specials.  You then make your announcement. 

Virtually the same words every time... but you tailor them to the listener -- go into more depth here and there, as you gauge whether or not you have connected with the person's comprehension... all you need is for him to understand, then he can take your flash card and be your worthy messenger.

You connect, and the waiter says he will speak with the chef.  In his absence, conversation turns to another girlfriend who just gave birth to twins.  You both try to wrap your heads around how she is handling two sets of hungry mouths and poopy bottoms when the waiter returns.  He says that he'll take your order and then consult with the chef.  You both place your orders.  Yours is strategically chosen to demand the least customization of all the selections -- baked salmon and garlic-sauteed spinach... healthy and simple.  You specify that you don't need any garnish, and that they should just place the fish and spinach on the plate without anything else.  The "no garnish" concept was a bit difficult -- garnishing a plate is normally a thoughtless endeavor -- but garnish awareness is essential for a successful dining experience, so... the waiter disappears into the kitchen with your orders.

BFF asks why you have to take so much time to explain your requirements to the waiter... "Every time!  I mean, gosh... Doesn't it get embarrassing for you?"  Somehow, it comes through that the embarrassment BFF refers to is more hers than yours.  Not quite sympathetic.

Your friend nibbles on the bread, but you cannot -- you have no idea whether the ingredients are safe, so you abstain... that leaves more room for the food that you're paying for anyway... oh yesss... every, delectable morsel of salmon....

The waiter comes back with a few questions about the foods on your flash card.  You answer, in hopes that this will help them determine how they will prepare your dish.  The aroma of the dishes on the surrounding tables makes your stomach growl even louder.  "Mmmm... the food here smells great!"  BFF says, looking around at the other tables.  You look around also, thinking, "Finally!  My one, square meal of the day."

The waiter comes back, bringing your flash card.  "We're sorry, but the chef said that the oils we use all contain sunflower, and we don't use any other type of cooking oil."

"Butter?" you offer.

"We use a margarine spread that contains sunflower.  So we can't make the salmon and spinach for you.  We can steam some carrots and broccoli for you, though.  We would steam them and we know you would be fine."

You look at BFF, who does a reverse-nod and says, "That sounds good to me.  Will it be ready with my sliders?  We're hungry!"  She bats her lashes.

The waiter responds, "Yes."  He turns to you, "Are you okay with the broccoli and carrots?"  You're disappointed that BFF still wants to eat here... despite her sudden hunger and lack of empathy, you give in, since you need to eat something other than fruit and nuts sooner rather than later.  He disappears into the kitchen.

"Why couldn't we go some place else?  I've just eaten fruits and nuts today -- I'm going to grow feathers!"  He had barely disappeared, when this sentiment burst from your lips. 

Okay, that lacked subtlety.

"What do you mean?  You're going to have vegetables -- that's better than nuts, right?"  BFF says this without a trace of deeper understanding.

Your mouth literally drops open... which is good... it's best that you check your initial response for something more tactful.  "I'm not a vegetarian, Bea.  Organic - yes.  Vegetarian - no. They're not the same.  I need one square meal a day, at minimum... and I really am craving fish or chicken."

"Oh... I didn't know.  Can we just stay and then we can go somewhere else tomorrow?"  Just as these words are out of BFF's mouth, the waiter arrives with your food.  Her sliders make you salivate, despite the fact that you don't eat beef.  Your steamed carrots and broccoli look more boiled than steamed... and when you take your first bit, you realize that they did not use any seasoning -- not even salt.  Your eyes water.

You've known BFF since the year after your anaphylactic diagnosis more than a decade ago.  If she doesn't understand by now, she never will

Rebranding of Anaphylaxes Axis

Happy Independence Day!

"Anaphylaxes Axis" has been renamed "Anaphylaxis Axis".  This change will make it easier for  readers to find these pages from search engines.  Please feel free to follow by email or subscribe to a feed so as to keep up with the latest and greatest!

Assorted Idiots - Part II

Part II of the Idiot 'ilogies

We're still at the rest stop.  You're still eyeing the possible antagonists... The grilled sausage sandwich regards you with contempt... You can feel its disdain emanating from its greasy perch under the heat lamp.  The home fries menacingly dare you to chow down on their leathery texture.    The smell of grease and assorted mixed allergens assault your nostrils, as your stomach muscle tightens...  

It has not escaped your notice that your friend has been putting some physical distance between the two of you... She hasn't glanced your way over the past few minutes, and seems to be avoiding any kind of eye contact or acknowledgement of your connection.  She happily trades small talk with the food server, as your sweat glands go into activation...  

You finally determine that the safest choice on the menu has got to be the lone, buttermilk biscuit in the far left corner of the display... It's nested in an area that is seemingly separated from the other foods, the nearest of which are not known allergens... As a matter of fact, there's a full three and a half feet in between the biscuit and the nearest known offender.  Do you dare?  Your friend happily pays for her purchase, and motions that she is going to take a table for the two of you.  She plays "oblivious to your anxiety" almost convincingly....

Ok... You've made the decision -- why are you still uneasy?

The little voice inside your head (note: "the", not "a") says to ask a specific question.  So, you launch into "ingratiate yourself then scare the living bejeezus out of 'em"-mode, greeting the food server energetically, asking how s/he is doing today prior to working "I have a deadly food allergy and I'm wondering whether you might be able to safely accommodate me here today...?" into the conversation.   As expected, the server's eyes pop open, and s/he asks you to repeat what you just said.  You hand over your flash card, and wait for the server to read through it.  You field her/his questions, as s/he rubs her/his chin in contemplation.  The server tells you that s/he can make you plain eggs to go with that buttermilk biscuit.  And now... The question.  

"What type of cooking oil do you use?"

"Vegetable oil.". The server answers without any thought to the fact that this ingredient is on your flash card.  Bolded.

"Vegetable oils are usually a mixture of two or more oils.  Could you please read the ingredients and tell me what they are?"  This is what your intuition had perceived via the ethers... Rightfully, you press.

The server ambles over to the grill, and takes the oil spray can in hand, looking for the ingredients label.  "Hmmm... It says corn and sunflower.  Hey, that's on your list."

You're hungry.  "Was it used to prepare the biscuit?"

"I'm not sure.  We don't make them here... I wonder if we have the ingredients for the biscuit somewhere..."

You look at the display again, and notice a gleaming layer of something resembling oil or grease along the bottom of the display.  You realize that you're probably going to be really hungry for some time to come... Unless you pop open one of your pistachio snack bags.  And you've been snacking,  handful at a time for the past couple of hours... You were really hoping for something other than this birdfood....  In your haze, you hear the server pipe up that they do "throw" the biscuits on the grill for a quick "browning" of their tops.  You thank her/him for her/ his efforts politely, and then turn to find your friend... Who is inhaling massive quantities of untouchable food.  Your stomach growls audibly, as all you can do is watch her eat.

What a garish sight.

Oh Yeah... Assorted Idiots... Part I

Part I of the Idiot 'ilogies.

Assorted Idiots...

Such a variety -- where do I begin?

How's about here...

Imagine yourself taking a lovely roadtrip with a travel buddy... Somewhat spur of the moment -- a decision made one day in advance -- but why not?!  There's something about spontaneity that is invigorating, daring and downright exciting....

Your anaphylactic nemesis is of the food variety, so you pack a few things that you know you can eat safely... A couple of oranges, peanut butter, honey, a loaf of whole wheat bread, a can of salted peanuts, unsalted pistachios, a couple of apples, and bottled water.  You are hoping to find a few lovely restaurants that can accommodate you, but are carrying these things as snack food, as well as possible short term meal alternatives in the event that the local establishments are unfit.

You're going to a wonderfully scenic destination, but the drive is long.  Along the way, the two of you decide to stop to stretch your legs, use the restrooms, and possibly grab some lunch.  The first three are working beautifully... However, when it comes to the meal, you realize that the rest stop only has fast food of the "it's gonna give you Delhi Belly" variety... Which sets off alarms for you -- places like this are never able to accommodate you, even on Opening Day.

You subtlely vocalize your concerns to your friend... Expressing your hesitation and discomfort should be enough... However, your friend, usually the first to get subtlety, subtlely ignores your concern.  You study the situation to determine your probability... You survey the ingredients in the dishes... The garnishes used and how it is laid out in the display... The way the food is being prepared and cooked... How the servers handle the food...

Your friend delightedly states that she can't tell whether to get #3 or #7, as you stare down a particularly menacing-looking croissant sandwich.  You express your concern in less ambiguous terms -- "I don't feel comfortable eating here -- I don't think they can prepare something for me without contamination...".  Your friend gleefully places an order for a #7... At which point, you realize your friend is truly a #2....

Perks, Jerks and Other Assorted Idiots

Perks.

Some perks are obvious.  Others take the development of a new paradigm.  Let's work on that new paradigm together.

There are numerous perks to the anaphylactic lifestyle.  True, it is a completely unplanned reality... One that you never could have anticipated in even your most bizarre dreams.  Yes, it takes a bit more attention and effort to circumnavigate those things that could send you onto a gurney or into a body bag equally as quickly... And yes, it stinks that you won't be able to eat that wonderful dish that you clearly must have really liked... Or suit up in that latex outfit... And anaphylaxis does give the word "carefree" new meaning for you.... But, let's face it -- what doesn't kill you (literally, in this case), makes you wiser, stronger and a strategic mastermind.

Wisdom.  What is wisdom?

   * accumulated knowledge or erudition or enlightenment

   * the trait of utilizing knowledge and experience with common sense and insight

Insight.  Insight gives us the perk.  One such perk is the fact that jerks and other assorted idiots don't take long to become uncloaked.  "Nue comme un ver." Stark bloody naked.

A jerk will insist that the two of you (or the group you're with) eat in an establishment that might not provide a safe dining experience for you.  If the person does not defer to you in choosing a place to dine, then this person does not value your life.  At first glance, this sounds like a power play -- but it's not.  It's purely an exercise in humanity.  A friend living the non-anaphylactic lifestyle can eat whatever they want, whenever they want, wherever and with whomever they want.  The number of times they go out with you are a fraction of those times.  When they are with you, allowing you to make the ultimate call does not diminish that person's overall enjoyment of life.  If seeing you on a drip in the ER is just as entertaining an option as going to a Broadway show, then maybe it's time to re-think this connection.  After all, you choose your friends -- you are not the victim of their choices.

Always Flash

Use Flash.

Work it.  When you hand the card to the waiter/waitress, make sure you explain that, if your food comes into contact with any of the items on the list, and you eat it, you will die.  Some form of the word “death” usually catches a server’s attention – you can physically see them perk up, as they listen more intently.  If a server does not seem to understand the gravity of the situation, leave the restaurant.  Earlier on, I paid the price for not having properly gauged a waiter’s lack of concern.

The waiter remembered me from a previous visit, during which, after giving him specific verbal direction (I hadn’t yet devised the flash card strategy), he served my dish with a helping of lettuce on it.  I sent the dish back, explaining that I needed a new meal prepared and that I would need them to put it on a clean plate.  During my second visit, I can only guess that the chef had placed lettuce on my dish, and then removed it after the waiter noticed it.  Unwittingly, I ate dinner, and proceeded to experience part of my anaphylactic reaction on my way home.

Depending on the personalities of the establishment's staff, you might receive the attention of numerous members of the wait staff, management and/or the chef.  I consider this a good sign -- it means that they are giving your requirements due gravity.  They understand that your life hangs in the balance, and that they could be responsible for anything adverse that might occur.  These are the people you want feeding you.

You might also encounter restaurant managers who politely and nervously tell you that they would like you to leave the restaurant, because they are concerned that they will not be able to segregate the preparation of your food perfectly.  This usually follows numerous iterations of questions and answers, and trips to the kitchen.  Use your best judgment to determine whether or not to eat there.

Flash 'em!

Flash 'em!

Ok... Let's keep this G-rated.... 

Want to improve your odds of dining without adverse incident?  Hand the food service manager (e.g.  Restaurant manager, chef) a flash card listing your anaphylactic allergens.  A flash card can be as simple as words typed on a slip of paper, or as elaborate as a laminated card or sheet of paper listing your allergens.  You can buy them online, or make them on your own – making your own ensures that the information will be custom-tailored to your particular case.

Size matters.  Don't believe anyone who says otherwise... It must have large enough type/font so that the average person who is neither legally blind nor a perfect 20/20 can easily make out all of the words on the sheet.  If someone must squint or guess at the items listed on your flash card, then you are effectively engaging in a game of Russian Roulette.

The size of the card matters also.  The card should not be so small that it can easily be lost by your server or  chef -- but it should also be not so large that it is difficult for your waiter/waitress to carry with your order.  I find that 8.5 x 4" is a handy size -- and it doesn't get lost.  5" x 7" works as well.  At times, it will come back to you with oil and/or food stains... most cherished proof that the flash card made it into the hands of a chef.

Content.  Remember the 3 Cs:  Clear, Concise, Comprehensive.  Use simple, clear sentences to convey your requirements.  Assume that your reader could have Attention Deficit Disorder – get the reader’s attention while keeping your message short.  Finally, make sure that all of your allergens are listed – it must be comprehensive enough so as to leave no question in the reader’s mind.

The flash card is a tool that should be incorporated into your repertoire and used any time you are thinking of having food pass your lips.  Make sure your EpiPen is within easy reach at all times.

Sample Anaphylactic Allergy Flash Card:

A Splash of Excitement

A splash of excitement.

Seemingly off topic, but an important part of keeping life fresh -- elevating the spirit to new heights... Providing a thrill to get the blood pumping... And elicit the authentic jubilation of a child... A welcome break from the seriousness of daily life....

I completed a skydive today. My first off-ground. There may be more. I was actually ready to do another as soon as my tandem instructor and I touched down... But I will wait... For another time when it will be just as sweet... Another celebration of my finessing the curve balls and fast balls that are in store for me... For adapting with dignity and optimism... And not giving up in the face of life's absurdity.

Yes... I will wait... To once again glide through the clouds and slice through the sky with the wind in my ears... To steer my parachute under the guidance of a guru... To feel the wind beneath my feet.

We're all freefalling... We're just not all aware....

Mistakes Along the Way

Mistakes have the same value in your lifestyle as they do in pre-anaphylactic life -- they are opportunities for learning and personal growth.  Perfection is an ideal that exists exclusively in Utopia alongside Virtue, Unicorns and 43 year old Virgins; so, from here on in, release yourself of the burden of having to master your lifestyle perfectly.

Each blunder reveals another invaluable clue as to what is happening in our bodies at the cellular level, which causes us to experience such severe reactions.  Without these blunders, we are a powder keg awaiting the next inevitable explosion.

Mistakes are redeemable due to our ability to learn from them... Therefore, PAY ATTENTION.  You know the signs -- when you feel your body launching a reaction, make note (physically, if possible -- through writing, a cell phone text/note, or via a voicemail you leave yourself) of what you ate, smelled, did and came into contact with immediately before reaction onset.  How are you feeling at the moment?  How does it compare to the previous incidents?

Next, CALM DOWN.  Physical activity and panic make the symptoms worsen more quickly.  In asthmatics, if, during an attack, the person gets emotional -- usually upset or panicked -- lung capacity diminishes exponentially.  The minute the asthmatic stops the emotional reaction and forces him/herself to calm down, lung capacity starts to increase.  Not an easy thing to do, but if you can manage it, you will buy yourself some valuable time.  So, help yourself uncomplicate the complexity of your reaction.  Calm down to minimize reaction momentum and enable yourself to think through what needs to be done next to get you into the hands of a competent healthcare team as quickly as possible.

Take your medical insurance card out of your wallet and put it in a pocket or place that will be easily accessible (to you are a healthcare provider) as your reaction progresses.

If the reaction is progressing quickly and you have an Epi Pen, you might have to use it.  When to use the Epi Pen should have been discussed with your physician during the first or second office visit.  Always seek the advice of a licensed healthcare professional before using prescription medication.

Seek someone's attention and ask them to call 911.  Explain what you are experiencing.  If breathing and speaking are getting difficult, then proceed to the path of writing.

If your tongue is swelling, you might not be able to speak clearly -- so write your plea for help on a note.  Pen and paper will never become relics -- always carry them with you.  Include the fact that you are having an anaphylactic/deadly (do yourself a favor and use both words to describe your situation -- some people are unfamiliar with the term "anaphylactic") reaction to [name of your allergen] and to please call 911, and [name of your most reliable emergency contact and his/her telephone number].  Also write down the location of your insurance card (e.g.  "Medical insurance card is in right jacket pocket").  If you have the ability, also write the name and telephone number of your physician.  Ask the ambulance if they can take you to your physician's hospital without incurring unusual charges.

Once in the ambulance and on the heavenly drip of benadryl buzz, remain alert enough to answer questions accurately, know where you are going or being admitted, and answer the questions of the ER personnel once you arrive at the hospital.  After the initial flurry of your arrival, vitals monitoring and a possible administration of medicine, you will have time to doze off... Your emergency contact will hopefully arrive soon thereafter to watch over you. Ask your contact to request copies of your file for this ER visit, so that the record can be shared with your physician.  Survival is dependent on a good, impropmtu delegation plan.  Just don't delegate the relief.  The relief, combined with the IV makes for an intoxicating mix.

After you're home and the drowsiness has worn off (and you WILL be tired -- your body just experienced upheaval of epic proportions), document all you can about this event... With particular emphasis on the hour leading up to the reaction -- this will help identify the trigger.  Read through the notes you jotted down or captured on an electronic device, and listen to the voicemail(s).  Weave the bits together into a set of data that can be presented to your physician during the next visit.

Now schedule that next appointment with your physician.

Action

Action.

Action is the result of your empowerment; it is what will enable you to develop a healthier lifestyle paradigm.

Anaphylaxes had the upper hand, prior to your diagnosis... It could have struck at any time, and, literally, wiped you out.  Now, you are on the look-out for it... And you know the warning signs, and how to deal with it... You will make mistakes, but that's okay -- you'll be able to handle it.  You are now equipped to keep the enemy at bay and win the war.

How do I define "winning the war"?  There is no one definition.  Anaphylactic allergies can be outgrown -- allergists suggest re-testing every seven years.  However, we are not all that lucky.  Some of us are in this for the longest haul of all -- the nature of these allergies, according to modern science, is unpredictable.  So how do we win in this situation?  We win the war by proactively addressing the issue -- by developing a positive lifestyle that allows us to enjoy the luxuries of life, sculpting out the bits that prove to be life-threatening, and erecting allergen barriers that provide us the maximum safety and freedom possible.  We win the war by developing an alternative lifestyle that preserves an acceptable quality of life.

What's "acceptable"?  Only you can define that.  But I advise you to define parameters that are forgiving enough not to leave you feeling frustrated or deprived.  Yep -- I just used the D-word -- only an insane person would see a huge, purple elephant sitting next to him/her and deny it peanuts.  The deprivation mindset can suck you downwards like quicksand -- do yourself and everyone in your life a favor -- don't let it.  It's okay to allow yourself to go there initially -- it does, after all, suck like a neverending Tootsiepop without the Tootsie... But noone will want to accompany you through your perpetual victim saga... And, frankly, the victim mentality spirals downward... Wrong direction.

In all probability, there are things in life that you either missed out on, or underappreciated before your anaphylactic allergy became active.  Things that you might now be more open to trying... And, to your pleasant surprise, liking.  When one door closes, another opens up... Somewhere... You just have to follow the draft.

Back to "action".  Your Action Plan should, first and foremost, help you avoid anaphylactic events.  It should be a "work in progress" for the lifespan of your allergy.  As you have more life experiences and your body ages, you can refine the plan along the way.  Talk to others who live an anaphylactic lifestyle -- ask them how they manage to safely enjoy activities that could potentially lead to an anaphylactic event (e.g.  If yours is a food allergy, how can you continue to eat in restaurants without ending up in the ER at the end of the meal?).... If it makes sense to you, make some of their tricks your own -- create your own repertoire using the benefit of others' experiences in addition to your own.  The best action plan for you is one that only you can devise, because you alone know every single thing you do every moment of the day.

Justice.  Knowledge.  Liberate.  Let's go have some fun!

Director of the Battle

Drive.  Direct.

You've selected your physician.  Great.  No rest for the weary.  Schedule a visit to either agree on the course of therapy that the two of you designed, or obtain the clarification needed to help you further refine the therapy.  Doubtless, more questions and concerns may have arisen since your last appointment.  Jot them down and be sure to bring your list to your next appointment.

After the pleasantries of the day are done, let your physician know that you've given thought to your last conversation and that you subsequently had questions -- you would now like to go through them.  Your physician might ask you to read them, or might ask you for the list to read (some people process spoken words better; others process written words better -- as long as your doctor undstands your message, how s/he takes the information from you should not matter).  Your doctor should answer your questions to the best of his/her ability, and might even provide you with supplementary information and/or reading materials.

Find out the medical designation of the selected therapy.  Is it in clinical trial, or is it an approved therapy?  Does it incorporate a mixture of alternative medicines (e.g.  Western plus Chinese, Western plus Ayurveda, Western plus Homeopathy)?  Is it so radical that it is neither approved nor in clinical trial?

Make sure that you touch on the subject of therapy timelines.  Will you have to receive this therapy once a week for the rest of your life?  Is the therapy designed in 6-month stages, with four stages being the full course?  Is this therapy necessary once a month for seven years, at which point you will be re-tested?

What about the cost?  Is this therapy covered by your insurance plan?  If not fully, what portion will you have to pay out-of-pocket?  Will there be a co-pay for each office visit?  Will it differ from the co-pay amount on your insurance card?  Are there any programs in existence that might subsidize part of your cost?  Does the pharmaceutical company make allowances for patients with hardships?

Lastly, ask what your best case and worst case prognoses would be as the result of your undergoing the selected therapy.  If there would be no change, then you might ask yourself why you should put your body through the trauma, while wasting time and money.  If the strategy would yield any positive result(s) to your health, it might be worthwhile.  If it leads to a cure, it's a no-brainer.  Just be careful of anyone who offers you a seemingly magical solution -- magical solutions don't exist.

Weigh the answers to your questions, and make your choice(s) based on your comfort with your physician and his/her ability to successfully administer the therapy.  Work the therapy schedule into your everyday life -- weave it into the fabric of your life as you would an addition to your family.  It is an addition to your life.  If you do not commit to accepting and living an anphylactic lifestyle, you leave yourself a perpetual victim of anaphylaxes.

I am a survivor.  So far.  Are you?

Gutsy.  Healer.  Indestructible.  Develop a living action plan.

Plan Execution

Execution.  Bloodless execution.

With your thoughts  organized and your supporting documentation in order, it's time to execute your plan -- put it into action and keep the momentum going.

1.  Meet with the physicians and discuss your dossier.  Ask your questions.  Ask the physician what testing methods are used to diagnose an anaphylactic allergy, and make sure you understand the methods well enough to be able to select a method with your doctor's advice.  Ask the physician what methods s/he prefers and why this is his/ her preference.  Decide whether or not you are comfortable with this doctor's approach.

2.  Get diagnosed -- confirm all suspicions.  Become an active participant in your health and well-being.  Ask the doctor to test you for foods/allergens you suspect, including everything in the food/allergen family.  If you are uncertain, let the physician suggest and justify a testing plan for you.  The physician should take your concerns into consideration, and not try to force you to take a course that you do not understand.  "God complexes" should be checked at the door -- if s/he can't physically walk on water, feel empowered to suggest s/he take it down a notch and replant his/her feet on earth -- remember, you are doing him/her the good deed of bringing your business to him/her, not the other way around.  In dealing with your allergy, stress needs to be minimized, since it can be a source of complication.

3.  Discuss the timeline for allergy testing, including an in-person review of test results.

4.  Once your test results are ready, meet with the physician again to review and understand your results.  Your initial meeting conversation revolved around possibilities; now you have definitive detail to discuss.  Solicit the details of the doctor's proposed care plan.  Will additional testing be needed?  Should a traditional allergy therapy be used to treat the condition?  If so, why?  Should a more radical treatment be used to treat or de-sensitize you?  Is this treatment covered by insurance?  What are the risks of one option over another?  Ask the physician if s/he would have his/her mother or child submit to such a treatment if that person had the same diagnosis.

5.  Ask the doctor to provide you a list of steps to take in the event that you find yourself experiencing anaphylaxis in a location that is not near a medical facility.  Knowledge is empowerment; and, in this case, it can mean the difference between being able to preserve lung capacity (calmness in the face of crisis) and suffocating (unbridled panic).  If medication (e.g.  an epi-pen, benadryl, prednisone) is required for any of these steps, make sure you get a prescription for each medication.  Review the list (as well as precisely when it is necessary for you to seek medical attention) with the doctor until you understand the sequence.  You should commit this sequence to memory because it may save your life one day.

6.  Go home and compare notes on the three physicians.  What did they say that was common?  What were the differences?  Use the Internet to help understand the differences -- do your research -- this is your life, after all -- no one will ever take as keen an interest in it as you.  Based on your comparison and your research, who seems to be most knowledgeable and qualified to fill this important role in your life?  Who is most authentic?  Who are you most comfortable with?  Now make your selection.

7.  Never forget that you are your best, most reliable health care provider.  Don't ever give up.

Daring.  Engineer.  Formidable.  Time to direct the mission.

Have a Plan

Have a plan.

First and foremost, calm your nerves.  Realizing that you have an anaphylactic allergy can be very unnerving... If you allow it to, it will unravel the fabric of your being... But you're much stronger than that... How do I know?  Well, all humans are 10,000% resilient -- everyone knows that.  The only thing we can't do is regenerate limbs.  Yet.

Once you've recomposed,

1.  Do some research to identify at least three respected physicians specializing in allergies (most likely allergists or allergy immunologists).  Identify a minimum of three so that you can
          a)  get a few opinions,
          b)  compare their answers and proposed approaches, and
          c)  pick the specialist with whom you feel most comfortable.  This could be a long term relationship (if you've ever been married, you know what that means -- if not, there's time).  Choose wisely.

2.  Before you meet with your short list of specialists, prepare an allergy dossier.  It should include information that will help the physician(s) piece together your history to lead to an accurate diagnosis (emphasis on "accurate" -- an inaccurate diagnosis can be as harmful as no diagnosis at all).  When putting together my dossier, I started by focusing on supplying the answers to the following questions:
          a)  What medical records do you have in support of the anaphylactic event you experienced?  What other allergy records do you have?  Incorporate them into the dossier.        
          b)  What other known allergies do you have?
          c)  What known allergies exist in your family?
          d)  What activities were you engaged in immediately before the anaphylactic event?  What were you engaged in immediately after?  How did you feel?
          e)  At the time of the event, was there a period of time when the reaction symptoms subsided, only to be reactivated later on?  If yes, approximately how much time elapsed in  between the initial reaction and the second (latent) reaction?
          f)  Create a food diary listing everything you ate on the day of the event.  Do you have any idea what caused the reaction?  Think back -- had you ever felt unusual when you had eaten these things before?  "Unusual" could mean numerous things... Perhaps you had an unexplained feeling of anxiety, an unusual rise in body temperature, hives, difficulty breathing, itching/swelling in the mouth or intestinal distress that had escaped your notice until now.
          g)  Prepare a list of questions for the doctor -- it is your body, and you have the right to understand how it is functioning and why it is functioning this way.
          h)  Research the physicians on the internet.  Make sure that they are credentialed and associated with reputable hospitals.  Read patient reviews -- be sure to read through the most negative reviews, in addition to the positive ones.  Extremes could be outliers/the work of those with agendas; however, reading both the good and the bad will help you get a more balanced idea of what it might be like interacting with the physicians.

Alpha.  Bravo.  Charlie.  Now it's time to execute the plan.

Strategy

"Strategy".

Great word.  Best word for describing the approach to creating a comfortable lifestyle in the shadow of anaphylaxis.  "Approach" is much warmer and cozier, but there is nothing warm or cozy about taking back your life from the seemingly random, mutant turn of one's immune system.

The anaphylactic lifestyle demands the exuberance required to finish a race against all odds.  It requires the stamina of a decathlete in the last leg... The commitment of a mountain biker on a snaking, North Carolina trail... The determination of a Chelsey Sullenberger, as he safely landed an airplane filled with passengers on the Hudson River ... The obstinance of a cow in the middle of the road you must traverse to get a woman in labor to the hospital... The resolve and courage of an Arthur, as he lunges at Mordred to preserve the balance of good over evil... The ferocity of a frenzied Attaturk... The patience of a saint... and the forgiveness of a Mother Theresa... For our bodies don't mean to betray us....

Everyone needs a strategy.  Strategy can be generally defined as

     *  A plan of action or policy designed to achieve a major or overall aim

     *  The art of planning and directing overall military operations and movements in a war or battle

     *  A plan for such military operations and movements

Make no mistake about it... This is a military operation in a guerilla universe.

Do you have a plan?

Welcome to my world

Anaphylactic allergies are on the rise, creating one of the newest alternative lifestyles.  "Lifestyle" implies all that must be done to circumnavigate the mundane to minimize the potential life-threatening situations that every day life presents us.  For many, a substance that we luxuriate in on one day, could be the substance that triggers a deadly reaction the next. There are far too many stories of people with similar experiences, but seemingly no systematic guidance for those of us who must adjust our lifestyles in order to live. Our bodies present us with a tough, new reality... And we find ourselves in uncharted territory.

I was diagnosed with an anaphylactic allergy in 1999. Adjustment has been a challenge. Initially, there was much more trial and error than makes me comfortable, in retrospect. Over time, as I have had subsequent full or partial reactions, coupled with increased exposure to various physicians and health practitioners, I have learned more about the physiology of my allergy. Knowledge is power. This power has enabled me to devise strategies for living that improve the quality of my new lifestyle; it is an evolutionary process that is as much a "work in progress" as life itself.

Life is like a relay race. One cannot sucessfully make it to the end of the race without accepting a baton from one runner and passing it onto another. Thus, as we adjust to the latest health alternatives and challenges, it is our duty to share the wisdom we have gleaned along the way... Pass the baton to a fellow runner.

Anaphylaxes Axis is a place for people living with anaphylaxes to share the knowledge gained from experience.  Through collaboration, the references and tips we share can foster an ease of living that could take years to develop on one's own.